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And I miss My Dear Gentleman.To be able to find one these days is hard luck.

Favourite Things

Lately, I find myself missing waterfalls and picnics.

Birds Flying in the Sky

Birds flying in the sky create different impression to different people. In many culture,birds customarily represented epiphanies of gods, spirits or messenger of divine beings, announcing new situations or serving as guides. In modern society, this scenario would definitely represent freedom. As for me, seeing birds flying in the sky often creates a mix of emotions and carry me deeper into my thoughts.

I recognized myself as an introverted person. Because of this, I prefer to keep things to myself. I am not used to expressing my feelings or voiced out my thoughts openly to others,even to those who are close to me. The habits of suppressing my inner feelings and thoughts gradually force me to find a way to let myself at ease. Seeing birds flying in the sky is one them. They symbolize tranquility and serenity. It felt as if all my troubles and problems burst out of the birds' chest,dissolved, and vanished into the thin air.

Birds are a part of nature like any other beings on earth. What makes them special is that they could fly. Birds soaring up high in the sky symbolize freedom for most of us. I definitely agree with the notion. Sometimes things just do not happen the way we want them to,and despite of facing the reality, we tend to run away from it. Also, there are times when constraints are everywhere and everything seems complicated,emotions run high and to make it worse,there seem to be no way out. In a situation like these,freedom seems almost out of reach. The ability to make choices, to live without fear and having all the rights to do what we would want to is made possible by the humble act of nature. I would also say that somehow,birds flying in the sky represent hopes too.

As the eldest child in the family, it is hard for me to accept the fact that one day, I will have to leave my parents and build a life of my own. Having to be responsible in almost everything build an unbreakable bond between us and make me even more reluctant to even think of 'leaving'. It feels like abandoning them regardless of it being good or not. Here,birds flying in the sky represent abandonment. Birds that fly in the sky are definitely heading somewhere. They migrated when the weather or the condition does not favour their being in a place.

In myths and superstitions there are birds which are considered to be good luck and there are some which is associated with bad omen. Consider mythic birds like the Phoenix-a sacred fire bird which can be found in Persians,Greeks,Romans,Egyptians, and Chinese mythologies which symbolize rebirth, immortality, and renewal with birds such as crows or ravens which symbolize death,sorrow, bad luck and evil. It is believed that to see birds like the Phoenix flying in the sky brings good omen rather than seeing the crow flying over us. So,from a superstitious point of view, the kind of birds that fly in the sky really make a big difference as it influences the belief system of those whose life is surrounded by these things.

Lastly, I would say that birds flying in the sky represent uncertainty. The sky portrayed the big wide world which is full of many,many things to be discovered. I see myself as those birds, flying sometimes in one direction and sometimes aimlessly to their destination. We would never know whether all of them will keep on flying together or reach to the destination safely. But birds usually fly together in flocks and that is the best part. It gives sense of belonging.

In a nutshell, the topic “Birds Flying in the Sky” is arbitrary as it is interpreted differently from one person to another depending on one's experiences. Meaning is created when one intends to relate something to others and communicates using existing signs and codes in a culture.

Titter Tatter

Out of my usual stupid self consciousness,somehow I just moved from the back seat and join this someone at the front seat as nobody would want to sit there. My mind was only focusing on the assessment that we all will be answering later, despite the friendly request to fill the empty spot.However, in the next few minutes, miraculously we're actually exchanging opinions on laws and regulations,hobbies,writers and writing, books and other stuffs.How strange to have such a quick acquaintance.All in all, the whole thing was great.It  was indeed relieving to be able to have this kind of conversation once in a while.How surprising to actually know that the opposite sex could be one good listener and supportive as well.Oh,only when it comes to a conversation such as this. (I smell feminism prejudice.. lol)

Well,I don't really expect to have such a conversation each and every time,but I dare say that's this is utterly rare.

Not to say that there are none of the opposite sex are as 'chat-able' but I tend not to meet this type often.Most of the time,they don't really pay much attention to what you're saying and sometimes just interrupt whatever you're saying.Not to tell you guys to just shut up and listen but at least try to make the conversation seem natural and talk sensibly. Unless it is a date, I suggest you not to use the oh-you're-hitting-on-me kind of talk.Unfair as it is, I do believe that even girls and women do the same.Anyway, feeling like one hell of a pride and prejudice feminist right now,I think the opposite sex still have much to learn when it comes to this.

Have a nice day!

The Old White Mug

The word 'graduation' reminds me of this white mug at home which has this question printed in it,right at the brink of the mug's rim : How do you spell r-e-l-i-e-f? I was 7 when I first came in contact with that mug,drinking hot milo out of it.And being incredibly enthusiastic, I spelled the word relief to that mug as if I was in a spelling test,(my favourite part during the English class!).
R-E-L-I-E-F...there you go..I was so proud of myself for being able to spell correctly and even checked the dictionary twice,just to be sure.Feeling triumphant,I treated myself to 'Air Batu Campur' that very evening.


A few years later, I was using that same white mug to drink tea and once again saw the question. Being idle at that time, I pondered over that question over and over again.Oh, it was a no brainer that the answer was actually right in front of my naked eyes! The word r-e-l-i-e-f  was there! I murmured,ironically telling myself how stupid the mug was and not me.I meticulously looked for the answer by searching the mug thoroughly.Ooh..it was on the outer part of the mug! There printed : Answer:G-R-A-D-U-A-T-I-O-N.

So, that's the answer..but why graduation?It asked me to spell relief..My small brain could not figure out that it was simply a riddle/joke.A simple, funny one.

Sad to say, I figured the whole thing out during the break after SPM. I had forgotten all about it when I left for boarding school.For the last 7 years since my last try-out, the mug had been laughing at me (I imagine). "How silly!" it would say and flashed its sardonic grin to me.
Now that I'm more often home, I got to use that mug often too.Looking back at the question,I just shoved a smile at that old mug and finished my drinks.If it could really hear me, I'd like to tell 'it' this:

Dear Old White Mug,
You've been there long enough for my parents,then for me and  my sisters in that house.Thank you for being there and be our faithful mug all these years and bore all kinds of temperature that we poured into you.I'll make sure I won't break you to pieces.Say,perhaps for many it might seems that graduation is the end of everything.You finish studying, secured a job and settled down.That's it?Life's so over? Well, I do not think so.In fact I'm worried to the max as this would just be the beginning.Life has just begun.I can't tell what the future holds for me.If you just stood tall and think about it for a sec.So, you might want to tell your children not to put that kind of question anymore.Perhaps another good joke would do.You'll thank me for telling you this.Oh,I forgot..you can't. Try to take care.

Lag

One more day,and that's it.I have unofficially finished my study here.
"Three years,seem, so quick.."
That sentence keeps on ringing in my head.Why?It was part of our choral speaking text. Everything that we did for the final project this semester was truly memorable. Making my first foray in scripwriting, acting and singing were one of those things that I'd never thought I'd be doing, not once in my whole life. Well,they were not that great, but I' m proud of it.Going through all those practice sessions and spending extra hours after class did pull something out of us as a team and promoted our growth as individuals.Good job everyone!
So, I guess that would be the first and the last time I'd be singing out loud, just like Maria singing the Sound of Music on the top of the hill.Chewah~

Of course,mine was totally far from the star if both were to be compared.But hey,things like this do make you feel good,definitely.I still could hear me whispering to myself during the first scene ; "It's now or never".
My,I forgot how numb both my ears were.Yes, ears,not the legs. I need to walk around la.
Someone told me to look at my friends if I'm ever going to faint or something and thank god I did. They had the warmest,friendliest, and supporting smiles you'd ever find while your on stage.

Okay.Now I'm amused.This musical thing was over for like a month ago and I think I made myself believe that I'm so over it.Yet, here I am, lingering on it,not quite willing to let it go.
Truth is,moments like this would get me a bit later than anyone else,and it's happening now.I'm also pretty sure that I'll cry over graduation day on November 2011, which is a month later from the big day.Actually, it's simply frustrating to have this 'lagging' thing happening to you. Just like the 'colonial lag' thing, I just wish that I'd catch up with others soon.Having the right feeling on the right moment.
Haha..I'm positive I'll be able to do that.

Karutan

Thinking is a must.It cinched sanity.

*Come to think of it, I'd say it's rather commonsensical.I have a feeling that this would be a juicy debate in philosophy though I'm well aware that it's highly incomprehensible in the end.So yeah...

At times, keeping sanity makes me feel incomplete. Thinking is one way of proving sanity. But when you tend to think too much, you'll miss almost all the good things in between; too busy contemplating on something and you're totally absorbed in it and you don't realize you're forgetting the rest of the world. Trust me, the fact that you even forget to breathe while doing so will pass unnoticed.

Reaching the utmost perfection is an unnecessary torment and I just realized that.It might as well lure you to pure insanity. Pure insanity offers a two folds deal. One will take you far up high and inspire you to do great things.The other one quite the contrary, leads you to instant damnation. In my case, the latter one is more likely.I envy those who are insane. It is not my intention to taunt or discriminate those who are unfortunate, but considering the state of not displaying the conventional sanity is indeed tempting.

Sanity is an acceptable madness.

Life is about choice, right? So, I guess I'll just choose.