Sink Or Swim?

SINK?



OR

SWIM?



I went to PD last weekend with such a flutter of anticipation,convinced that I still remember how to swim.It was disappointing though I already expected the outcome.I thought I was swimming,but the fact was that I looked like I nearly drowned.How is that so?

The swimming pool:
I bathe,crawled,dove,dog-paddled,floated,did the freestyle, glided,waded,paddled,stroke and all those swimming crap but it looked more like a worm wriggling in the water than me swimming.Hilarious.What a jolly act.I chaffed myself.
Since I've got a brand new swimming suit (after years waiting),I think it's time to brush my rusted skills.A good friend of mine love swimming,think she might be able to help with the techniques.Will you Saby?

The sea:
I noticed that I am still afraid to swim in the sea.Being able to go only like a few steps ahead from the land,eventually I freak-out and waded away through the salt water heading to the beach.



It's scary enough to not being able to see your feet underwater.I did no other movement except standing in the gushing waves,staring and admiring those who can swim happily in the sea.I dared myself to just float for like 10 seconds and guess what..I made it for just 2 seconds.I prefer having on-water vehicles rather than being in the water,using my own hands and feet to move around.If I ever being force to swim in the sea,afraid that I'll ended up clinging on somebody's back.That would cause chaos as I might cry.Who knows?XD So,I could say that I have thalassophobia.Hohoho..I love the sea,the scent,the view,and everything related to it.Maybe in a few years later I'll have the gut to swim in it.(PRAY)

Tick-Off

I find myself rather allergic to the word 'image' lately,as I've been rated by a number of people,disregarding their credibility as potential critics.A few years ago,it doesn't look like a major issue.Now,when I've reached two decades of living,it's like a must-said.
Almost everywhere I go,I wear slippers;class,library,shopping,dining out,strolling in the park,and almost everywhere.Mum keeps pecking on my head about wearing slippers,even to formal occasion.Haa,guess this habit will take ages to be cured.No heels mum!I'm acrophobia and definitely not the dull-looking 1 inch army shoes.Even my primary school teacher chided me on wearing proper shoes and getting a more attractive looking ones(those with sparkles and beads!)I would wear anything but those.Nothing could be done.My mum went shopping with my ex-teachers and I happened to follow.Not only that,during my last visit to granpa's a few days ago,he noticed the zits on my face.
Oowh,this was what he said-"What's with your face?Go get this erm..what..erm..OLAy."
I was like.."what?" grrr..
My cousin just grinned,and said,"I thought so..he's going to say OLAY.."
Me:"Why me?" %$&*#@..
There's more..afraid that they're quite inappropriate..so..

I Cried

I cried alone,
When no one was there,
I cried to comfort,
When no one was there,
I drowned in my sorrow,
And swam in my pain,
I let the darkness eat me,
I let it cloak me,

No one ever saw me,
So no one ever knew,
Everyone close to me,
Thought my life was fine,
But no one ever saw me,
No one ever cared,

When I met you knew,
Somewhere deep down,
I knew you were sad,
I knew how you felt,
I wondered if you knew,
That I was just like you,
Or that’s how I felt,
Every time I saw you,

You showed no sign,
Of how the misery swallowed you,
You never said a word,
You just laughed and smiled,
Like you I smiled,
I laughed at the jokes,
But deep down I was crying,
Deep down I was screaming,

I hope one day you’ll know,
I hope then that you’ll see,
That I’m just like you,
It’s all I can be,
I want to comfort you,
I want to help you,
We can be there for each other,
When we feel alone,

One day you’ll find me,
One day you’ll see,
And maybe one day,
That day you’ll rescue me,
When you save me,
That day I’ll save you too,



AngstPoetSociety

Memang Gitu Aja..

#When you have too much time doing nothing,even small simple things seems big.#
LOSER!

Home Sweet Home ~1

This holiday is quite weird as I was to spend part of it somewhere else and not at HOME.Summing it all up,the first week was at college and the rest was at my cousin's.My aunt and uncle went to perform their pilgrimage journey and there I was,enjoying myself thoroughly with my dear cousins.It was actually perfect,as I haven't met them for quite some time.So,we spent the days together;cooking,went for movies,shopping,watching different genres of movie-from classic to modern one-hours and hours in front of the TV(I even felt dumber than the idiot box already),glaring and staring at a dead fish in the aquarium;wondering how to get that thing out,watching their cat's girlfriend puke near the kitchen door and so much more.It was nice..really.We had a great deal of good times together.



See,we used to play,sleep,eat and even bathe together when we were young and those good times seems to vanish as we grew older.The feeling of being acquainted is now replaced by this awkwardness,as we're a perfect stranger.It feels like there's a gap?Maybe it is because of the time strain that we have these days.We're in university now.Things are a bit different;more responsibility,more important things to do.Childhood era had long passed.



Back to the scene,I had the pleasure to spend such a marvelous time.Honestly I did learned several useful thing like how to cook 'ikan bakar' using the banana leaves..Oow,my fish looked deadlier than ever.


Indeed I must say,no matter how wonderful and satisfying a place were,there is never a better place than HOME.Yes,I do miss HOME.In fact,I don't seem to believe myself when I was feeling homesick.Even at my cousin's?What the..I gave myself a sardonic smile..I miss HOME,really??So ironic..



Well my mum did came a few times as their youngest sister was staying with us.She's just 9,so more attention needed,and with heaps of work to do,she might go unnoticed,I guess.I kept giving hints to mum,but she seems to be clueless than ever.Not subtle enough?Oh my god!Well,my grandfather was actually staying with them,but he went to this Sarawak trip with my other aunt,so I was to keep my cousin's company until he's back.Its not that I don't like to stay,but the urge to go HOME was irresistible.A day before he's back,I felt like burning already.The scent of HOME has already lingered in me.I made no procrastination and packed.Finally!


Mum and I went to the hospital first to get my dad's stuff.On that same day too,my sister promised to meet mum so they could go and buy her super-duper thick,burdensome nursing books.Its like you put 2 or 3 bricks in the plastic bag and the size was almost as big as this computer screen.My only question:Won't they break her back?So many things happened in the process..I even puked somewhere on the road side,in front of a hotel,near the alley beside the corner lot 7-eleven.It was one of the most unethical thing I've ever done!I almost fainted too.For the next hours,I was in my somber mood.Gosh!I haven't done that for years..XD

Out of this so called adventurous day,the best moment did happened when I got HOME!Yess..I just love the feeling so much.Its like discovering a place where I belong.H.O.M.E

Where the Heart Leaps

If some longing goes unmet, don't be astonished. We call that Life.
-Anna Freud-

There is a third dimension to traveling, the longing for what is beyond.
-Jan Myrdal-