Amendments

Napoleon Hill said:
Do not wait; the time will never be "just right'. Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.


This time I have to agree.

I've been doing an 'internal auditing and special investigation' in,out and on my self. Sad to say that I'm not progressing well in terms of thinking ability and stability.Being unstable and unable to withdraw an undesirable attention in doing what I'm supposed to do (following my wish list),I should be more firm with myself and get back on track if I were to reach my targets in time.

I need to make amends of the time and energy wasted so far.I find that I am very much and easily affected with the surrounding.Vulnerable indeed.Ah, the time has come for some chicken soup -for the soul.So much for a chicken soup la. =P

By the way,I need to make amends for my cooking skills too.Been missing them since like ages.Blame the thesis and the final year project.Hehe.
Since I suck at baking biscuits and cakes,I think for now I'll just stick with steamed cake until I could get myself a proper oven and learn how to use it.First thing first.And hope my cookies won't be that black.
I've been collecting a few chinese soup recipe now but haven't get to try yet.The coming Ramadhan might be a good start.Wonder whether there is a term for soup lovers anyway.

And need to make amends for Italian,French and Mandarin too.Understanding what is being said or written is not enough darl.You need to SAY something. Good luck with that girl.Cubalah rajin sikit,kan you're disgustingly young?


As for my going-to-be-rusty-brain,I think I need to go back to old routines.Oh,good luck with that too!I can try De Bono, or perhaps NLP for a re-start.


Granpa:Biar diam-diam ubi,berisi..jangan diam-diam besi,berkarat.
Me: *terasa* Ya........
Granpa:"Ya" kau tu tak bertitik.
Me:Yalah....










 

Work #1st Episode #

Wow.I'm going to work.
Wow.I am actually going to work.
Me?Working?As in really go to the office and attend meetings?
Yup.

First day at work was hilarious.Blinded by an over-spirited determination,extraordinarily I arrived two hours earlier than the time expected and was dumbfounded to find the "Hand and Microsurgery Unit" vicinity was empty.Accompanied by the flickering ceiling lamp and the pleasant hum of the air conditioner, I failed to detect any living corpse walking around in a manner suggesting that he or she was a staff there and was ready to start the day and yeah, NOTICED me.

At the effect of the elevator "ding" sound,I sat up straight and hoisted my backpack onto my shoulder,trying to look presentable and at the same time tried my best to fight the drowsiness from waking up as early as 4 o' clock in the morn' for the 'big' day.Oh,and I prayed quite hard.
"God,please don't let me do something stupid,well..at least for today.Amin" 

Alas! The one to appear was the cleaner lady.We exchanged smiles and I straightaway asked her when my new 'colleagues' were coming.
"Eh, lambat lagi ni dik...diorang selalunya datang pukul 9.00..9.30 macam tu."
I was like ... "Owh,macam tu.."

Then I asked why the receptionist and some other staffs I saw down there came early,like I did.
Then the lady said, "Itu...biasalah masuk awal..ada yang kerja syif malam..tapi sini klinik,kita buka ikut waktu ofis la.."
When she reached that part,I was already cursing myself,for being that reckless.I should have known.Plus,it's not like I'm not that familiar with this hospital and most importantly I should have asked.

"Owh,terima kasih puan." I said with a smile.The fact that I was already totally amused with myself did not resurface until the lady was gone.I then walked towards the elevator with a blend of mix emotion.Gah,I should not let waves of nervousness controlled me!
So,I went down and stepped into the cafe.Sitting down with a plate of fried kuey teow and a bottle of water,I thought of the possibilities that might happened later.No wonder they said breakfast is good.In times like this,it helps in getting rid of the so called nervousness and restore cognitive ability.Ha Ha Ha.

10 minutes to 9,I was already back, waiting patiently and demurely on the couch. Seeing nurses walking in and out made me felt awkward and had this 'out-of-the-planet' kind of feeling.It's like there's a sign hanging on my neck saying, "I'm an alien from Mars.I come in peace.Will do anything for work."
Owh, I forgot to mentioned that when I arrived at the particular floor,a bunch of people arrived from the other side (there are three elevators).Scanning through,I thought they were practical students,amid the clamor and laughter.So,I just let it passed.

It's 9.30 a.m. and I was still sitting on the hard couch.Starting to get bored instead of sheer nervousness and anxiety, I called mum.I could tell that she was amused with me,but didn't let it out,knowing that her daughter was always anxious tak tentu pasal.Then I sat back.The temperature was getting colder and I was broiling inside.Again, served me right.Who asked me to come at 7.30 a.m.?Only aliens did that.That was what I did for the rest 2 hours-conversing with my alter ego.

I was literally staring blankly at the magazine when a girl approached me.Finally!Thank you for noticing me."Will do anything for work".She was about my height,my age and had this warm, friendly gesture.Asking my name, she pondered at the fact why I  kept quiet the whole time.The rest thought I was a patient there.I was like ....

Only later on I got the chance to meet my employer and being introduced to the rest of the staffs.New dilemmas appeared.Where should I go?What exactly I need to do at this point of time?Do I need to just 'observe'?I thought I'm going to write?What am I doing here?Where exactly is the staffs' cafe?When is lunch time?What time do we finish exactly?Erm,hello?

So,I remained as an observer at the hospital for a week before I was really located in a real office.If boredom is fatal,I might have died out of it.Trust me,I was that 'lost'.The rest is history.

A New Chapter

 "Start writing a new chapter, for if you live by the book you'll never make history." 
-Ben Sobel-


Time has cheated on me.
I've been making untold history for almost twenty two years now and I can never seem to recall when was the last time I shouted for the ice cream man to stop - the minute I heard him coming,played hide-and-seek,climbed up the trees and plunged into the river,sneaked out after the rain and fished for tiny tadpoles (which I claimed as 'baby fishes' back then) in the deep,clear puddle,ran up and down the hill,rolling in the mud, and of course, first day in school.
"Wait, did I go through all that?When exactly?" I heard myself asking.


Those were the times that no matter how hard I tried to rewind, let alone claimed, appeared vague.Now that I'm considered a young adult (according to mum who refuse to believe that I'm 18) and are eligible to work,more and more things keep me occupied.I noticed that I keep forgetting the small,insignificant details which might not contribute much to work prospects,but may affected the person in me.I fear that eventually I'll forgot to how to live life.It is one of the many major concerns I have in mind.

From the moment I learned what 'ambition' means, entering the varsity was not an option anymore.It's like you're obliged to go through the tertiary education system and you're so doomed and screwed up if you're not.Fourteen years ago,life wasn't as complicated as it used to be now.Back then,I would say life is bliss.Ironically,I still complained how my live was a living hell and no more than a mere threshold.Ungrateful brat!

When I was eight,people were more well mannered,no children were missing,no babies were simply thrown away like some broken toys,gruesome murder cases were scarce,people don't simply kill others out of jealousy or hatred,sweets and ice creams were cheaper =P, and I was 8 years old.Well,although the economy was on the brink of a disaster,what could be worse?As any other middle class family,we didn't have a lush,plush life but no one died of severe starvation.Not that I knew of.

Talking about globalization,economic and social growth and what not,I'm very much aware of the fact that we're growing.I'm more worried about the direction though; either we are moving forward or backward.

And some say that I dwell in the past,trying to run from the present day - unable to deal with it wisely. Yeah,in my age,who did? I must stop and look back once in a while or I'll lose control.Reflecting deflects,you know.
The past is a part of who and what I am now.Sometimes,the act of treating it as something insignificant cause this severe aggravation of annoyance in me.It's foolish to make dumb remarks about something that we're not really familiar with and worse,it proofs plain stupidity.And worst enough if accompanied by an immature childish streak.It's okay to be childlike,but definitely not childish.Now that I'm ranting pointlessly,I might as well be called "childish".Thank you very much.

I guess it's in the nature that we nurtured.All in all,I believe there are myriad of choices I could make in life.Shakespeare wrote, "To be or not to be.That's the question." 
I asked myself, am I the 'to be' or the 'not to be'? Ready or not,I have already opened a new chapter in life.Funny,I still haven't close the previous book for I'm not done with the final chapters yet.There are still pages left unread.Is it possible to read two books at a time?
And I would not say, 'time will tell' because it can't this time.