In The Mist

A week holiday feels like a blessing to me.Away from the hectic class schedule,away from feeling stuffy,messy,and contaminated.Sometimes staying in a place for too long,repeating the same routine everyday make us feel tired.Tired of everything,just too tired..that eventually we didn't realize that we are far away from our very own selves anymore.The society that we belong in contribute much to this changes,yet still it's up to us on how we reacted to them..and that formed the new us..

We're dragged far away from what we believe,who we were before,and worse,when we're blind enough to see that we are doing things that we used to stand against.
At home,it's a relieve to find my old self again.It gives me such serene and calmness to think clearly what have I done,decisions I've made,stuff I do recently back in college.It looks like I've made a rush decision on certain things..I've been off track from my daily planner,not really up-to-date with my academic studies,and seems like I've put aside my plans and target for the semester for something that I can regard as 'wasting time and money,and energy..It feels like I should have not done it in the first place.

But from those things I should 'not do',I learned great many new things..things I have long forgotten,things I swore myself not to believe in anymore..It's really hard to embraced it once you let it go forever.I never suspected that I'll be in this situation again..It feels like you have to force it in you..no matter how hard you try,you won't feel nothing..am I going to survive this?I feel like I've lost so many things in life,things I should have grasp on it..it's true,life goes on..but you can't just start a new page without even looking back at the past..

Sigh..what kind of person I would be now,and in the coming future?
I never want to know..time will tell..